


Hiding Bodies and Class Bonding

by pssebe



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Blood and Gore, F/M, Humor, Minor Character Death, Murder, Tragedy/Comedy, crack if you squint with one eye, fun times, rip chloe, some f-bombs are thrown, theres a bit of swearing in there too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9627470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pssebe/pseuds/pssebe
Summary: “Oh my God. She's dead!”“Shut up, would you? She not dead!”“Nino’s right, Kim. Chloe doesn't have a pulse”When Marinette arrived to school before the bell for the first time in three years, everyone knew that the day wouldn't be a normal one.





	1. Everything Goes to Shit

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note that this is for pure humour. If you do end up accidentally killing or injuring someone, don't do what these idiots do. Just go to the hospital.
> 
> This was beta read by the beautiful tourmei on tumblr. Tysm! x

 

When Marinette arrived to school before the bell for the first time in three years, everyone knew that the day wouldn't be a normal one.

The abnormality first began when Marinette woke up on time on a hot winter’s day. Now, that wouldn't be out of the norm, except that it was a _hot winter’s day._ Discarded were Marinette’s handmade scarves and gloves, as the weather didn't seem to match up with what she had planned to wear. Something clearly wasn't right.

“Hey Tikki?” Marinette asked her friendly little companion, “Don’t you think it’s awfully suspicious that it’s hot today? It’s the middle of winter.”

The said kwami appeared to agree. “I do believe that it is rather odd,” the bug mused. “Do you think this calls for Ladybug?”

Marinette shook her head. “Hmm, I don’t think so. It could be nothing, but I should stay on high alert just incase.”

Tikki agreed. “That’s a smart idea. You never know, Marinette; maybe Hawkmoth finally got sick of the coldness and just wanted a nice warm and relaxing day?”

Marinette laughed at the thought of a big bad guy like Hawkmoth lounging around by the poolside, maybe even creating an odd akuma here or there if the feeling was right. “That would be a relaxing day for all of us!”

 

Marinette finished her morning routine in record time (less than 10 minutes!) and ran down the sets of stairs, not bothering to slow down as she bid her parents farewell and rushed out of the boulangerie’s door. It was all going great until she nearly ran headfirst into a customer on the way out of the building. Oops.

The busy streets outside were filled to the top with confused citizens, bewildered about the strange weather change. Many of them were sweating in their winter clothes, while others looked joyful to once again be dressed in summer flocks. Some even wore a mix of the two, just in case the temperature dropped back to normal a Parisian winter climate.

It seemed as if nobody knew quite what to do. Marinette didn’t blame them; it wasn’t everyday that something as strange as this happened. Actually, scratch that. Mr. Pigeon was a weird day for everyone.

Carefully twisting and turning her way through the busy footpaths, Marinette hurried towards the school. She almost ran into a few people but their attention was too fixated on the odd occurrence to notice.

She reached the school and saw that everybody was talking about the unusual weather. Just like Marinette herself, majority of the students opted in wearing normal summer attire.

Rushing up the stairs, she saw Alya running towards her.

“Marinette! Girl, you’re actually on time for once.” She laughed and greeted Marinette with a hug.

Marinette playfully rolled her eyes. “Hey Alya. What do you think of this weather? Crazy huh?”

“I know! Do you think it has something to do with Hawkmoth?” Alya asked.

“Maybe. It’s probably nothing,”

“Hmmm I don't know, everything crazy that happens in Paris can be linked back to an akuma. Anyway, moving on. Let me tell you about the akuma fight from last night.”

The pair walked together to Mme Bustier’s class and while she hated to admit it, Marinette barely listened to Alya. Minus a few nods and oohing and ahhing, she was basically zoned out. The akuma Ladybug and Chat Noir had fought wasn't a hard one, but just like any akuma, it wasn't exactly a piece of cake. It was in the middle of the night and completely ruined her sleep schedule. Oh well, it wasn't like she had one anyway.  The duo came out victorious never the less, and Hawkmoth was probably crying in his Moth-Cave about it. Just the typically teenage night.

“And then, Ladybug totally waved at me! You should've been there Mari, it was amazing!” Alya gushed.

Marinette giggled. “I don't know Alya, I don’t really like being so close to the action.”

As they entered the classroom it became clear that Mme. Bustier was absent. Some students were sitting on desks and shouting across the room, while others took advantage of the free time to catch up with friends. 

“Sup Alya, Marinette,” Nino greeted from his desk

“Hey,” Adrien chimed in.

Marinette shyly waved back in return. Alya just couldn't contain her excitement.

“Hey Nino, Adrien? Did I tell you how Ladybug waved at me…”

Marinette zoned out of Alya’s storytelling once again. She didn't mean to sound rude but he had better things to think about, like why the weather was so damn weird. The seasons didn’t just completely change without a little magic involved. She thought of all the reasons possible…

…And created a short list.

 

_Marinette’s guide as to why the weather is so strange. Created and published by Marinette Dupain-Cheng._

 

  1. _Hawkmoth’s lair gets a little bit chilly in the winter and the heaters broke. This was the only option._
  2. _Someone had so much hate for winter that they got akumatised and this is their powers._
  3. _Global warming._
  4. _There’s a new miraculous holder who can change the climate and they want to make a grand entrance into the city._
  5. _Hawkmoth decided that Ladybug and Chat Noir deserved a nice relaxing holiday in same place warm (preferably Bora Bora), and since they can’t leave Paris without it exploding, he brought the holiday to them._



 

Marinette decided that the last one was a bit of a stretch, since even the warm weather they were experiencing wouldn't be enough to thaw the villain’s cold, frozen heart.

It was a shame, really. She would kill for a little break from akumas. 

Marinette was brought back to reality by the sounds of everyone gasping and even a few muffled squeaks.

She looked around the class to see what was going on only to find everyone’s eyes fixated to the classroom window. She completely understood why. Outside of the classroom, around a hundred meters away from the school, stood a floating white cloud in level with the window. If that wasn't crazy by itself, the cloud appeared to be flying towards them.

“Uh, dudes?” Nino questioned, his voice interrupting Marinette from her thoughts. Alya, Marinette, and Adrien turned their heads to look at him. “Does anyone else see that, or is it just me?”

Alya took off her glass, wiped them on her shirt, and popped them back on her face. “Nope, I see it too.”

“Do you think that it’s an akuma?” Adrien asked, his hair swooshing around as he hurriedly looked around the class (and into his bag. What was that about?).

Marinette forced herself to remain calm. “If it is an akuma, we should all leave the classroom right now. Mme. Bustier still isn't here.”

Adrien nodded and stood up. “Good idea. You guys get everyone out of the room.”

“But what about you?” Marinette asked, rushing to her feet. “You need to get to safety as well.” There was no way she was going to leave Adrien behind, and plus, she needed the classroom to be empty to transform.

“Uh, um…” Adrien stuttered, “Well, I’ll make sure nobody gets left behind.” 

_Like that was going to happen!_

“But—!”

She began to protest but it was too late _._ The white cloud had already arrived, and it was only moments away from flying into the window. It was at that point that everyone realised that the cloud wasn’t even a cloud. It turned out to be a giant flock of doves.

Marinette stared stock-still, her feelings coming together in a mixture of fear and awe as she watched the giant mass of white birds fly into the window.

They were like bullets. One by one, a single dove would shoot out of the flock, dive through the air and pierce the wind as it gained speed. It would twist and turn, dancing and gliding so easily in the breeze. Then the doves, in all their suicidal glory, would come crashing down into the window. 

The glass shattered just like the bird’s body.

A glorious explosion erupted of once white feathers, as of now they were finely decorated in an ethereal shade of rouge. Blood painted the already destroyed windows, tinting them a brilliant red hue almost as if it was a stained glass masterpiece.

It was a gruesome kind of beauty. A kind that could only be found in tragedy. 

Well, if one would go as far to call it that. Maybe Jukela would.

Marinette watched as the last bird shot into the window, before the whole wall off glass shattered down.

There was nothing but short moment of silence after that.

 

Emphasis of _short._

 

“Arghh!” Chloé shrieked. “The sight of all these bird guts makes me want to gag!”

“Oh hush Chloé,” Alya said. “We have better things to focus on.”

“Oh yeah?” the blonde girl taunted. “And what’s more important than how I feel?”

Alya rolled her eyes. “Well for starters,” she mumbled, “just about anything.”

“What was that?”

Marinette frantically looked around the class. She needed a distraction, and quickly! Alya’s arguments with Chloe never ended well. Her eyes locked on a distraught Mylène as she tried to pull gum out go her hair. How it got there, Marinette didn't know, but she had a feeling Kim had something to do with it.

“Hey!” she announced. “Uh, Mylène needs help.”

Rose was quick to hurry down from her desk and aid Mylène. “Oh no!” The blonde girl gasped. “What happened?”

Myèlene looked around nervously as everyone’s attention focused on her. “Oh, this? It’s nothing, seriously.”

“‘Nothing’ my ass,” Alix fumed. She stomped her foot in rage. “Kim the dog over here spat his gum in her hair. 

Kim sputtered, his eyes opened wide in disbelief. “I didn't not _spit_ it into her hair! It simply fell out of my mouth in shock.”

“Sure, why not,” Alix said. She glared right at Kim. “They gum just magically fell out of your mouth.” 

“That’s exactly what happened!” He defended, standing up in the air as he said it.

“So you admit it!” she exclaimed, standing on a chair to match his height. “You spat gum in her hair.”

“What? I never _said_ that.” Kim yelped.

Marinette did _not_ have time for this.

“Guys!!” She began to shout, and shout she did.

The loud noise startled poor Nathanaël so much that he jumped out of his seat and toppled to the ground. Ivan rushed to help, but his large body bumped harshly into Alix’s small frame, and she too fell down. The scissors that she was holding (to cut out the gum, not to stab Kim) got knocked out of her hands, flung high into the air and collided with the ceiling fan.

Chloé looked up at the worst possible moment. 

The scissors spun once, twice, _three times_ , before it dove down and impaled itself straight through her bright blue eye.

She didn't scream, but simply just gasped before falling to the ground. Her eyes would have rolled to the back of her head if it wasn't for the scissors in the way.

 

Nobody dared to speak a word.

Chloé Bourgeois, the Wicked Witch, was dead.

 


	2. Everything Goes to Shit Pt 2

“Oh my God. She's dead!” Nino yelled.

“Shut up, would you? She not dead!”

Alya bent down and felt Chloé’s neck. “Nino’s right, Kim. She doesn't have a pulse.”

Marinette could see Adrien pale, taking a few steps back to sit down. She couldn’t begin to imagine how it would feel having a childhood friend die right before her eyes.

Nino paced around the room. “Oh my God, oh my God!” 

“Shut up Nino!” Alya yelled.

“I can’t just shut up. Chloé is dead if you haven't noticed.”

Marinette resisted the urge to pull her hair out. There was a dead body (A DEAD FUCKING BODY) lying on the ground and Alya and Nino chose that exact moment to bicker. Everyone was stressing; stress was a normal thing for a teenager to do. Teenagers do not, however, stress over dead bodies (DEAD BODIES!!!).

 _Mon Dieu,_ what were her parents going to think? They only had one child, and she’d soon  be a suspect for the murder of a very important person, and that very important person was the mayor’s beloved daughter. She's going to die in jail, the fate has already been accepted. She might as well raise a glass to freedom, something she will never see again.

Marinette tried to force herself to remain calm. Unfortunately that didn't work very well as there was a corpse with a only one eye rotting on her classroom’s floor. The sight of Chloé was getting more horrific by the minute.

The scissors had landed in her left eye, and the right had become glassy-eyed. The blood that gushed out of the impaled one had covered the whole left side of her face, and left a pool red surrounding her head like a lion’s mane. Her mouth would forever lay open mid gasp, a horrid reminding of a golden classroom rule; don’t play with scissors.

 The second most horrific thing about the body was the stench. Marinette’s eyes had began to water from the strong smell. When people die their muscles relax completely. As the muscles in the rectum area relax the bodily fluids release. Corpses do indeed crap themselves and it is very unpleasant.

Marinette watched as flies began to come into the room from the broken window and gather round the wound on the body’s face. She couldn't bring herself to get close enough to it to brush them away. In fact, no one wanted to be anywhere near the dead body. They all stood a good few metres away, some even sitting down as they felt to sick to stand.

It was silent for a good thirty seconds before Nino and Alya started yelling.

Their voices become background noise as she sat on the floor. She finally stopped panicking and now she was left feeling… Well, she didn't know exactly how she was feeling. She realised how selfish she was being by panicking about her life when it was Chloé’s that was lost.

No matter how many times Marinette wished for Chloé to be gone, it was nothing to compare to how many times she wished the girl was still alive in those few minutes. 

She may have been a horrible person, but death shouldn't have been her punishment. Marinette wiped away a tear she did not know she has shred and sighed. If she truly was Lady Luck, then why didn't she have enough to prevent this? 

“We should move her.”

Everyone stopped and looked at Adrien. He was right of course, but no one wanted to accept the fact that it had to be done. Moving a dead body wasn’t exactly everyone’s cup of tea.

“Wait,” Max spoke. “We shouldn't touch her.”

He continued at everyone’s puzzled looks. “If we get our DNA on her, they police are going to think that we did it.”

“But we did _,_ ” said Rose. She was curled up next to Juleka, traumatised by the day’s events.

“The police don't know that.”

Alya looked up from the ground and narrowed her eyes on Max. “What are you implying?”

“I know it’s not ideal,” he reasoned. “But it’s the most beneficial option.” He took off his glasses and wiped his forehead. “I don’t know what else to do, but we can’t touch her in risk of being imprisoned.”

Sabrina squeaked. “I–I hugged Chloé before. They're going to think I did it!”

“Well shit,” Alix said. “The scissors have my fingerprints all over them. My old man is going to be so mad!”

Alya’s eyes widened. “I touched her neck,” she whispered. She was quiet for a few moments before she spoke up again. “They’re going to think this was a class thing. We’re all going to jail.” 

Everyone began talking all at once. Rose was about to cry, and Nino looked like he was about to faint. Even Adrien began to panic. Everything was going to shit.

In that very moment, Marinette knew she had fucked up.

Ladybug, a role model and inspirational superheroine, was going to be framed for a murder she didn't do. She didn't know how she was going to break the news to poor Chat Noir. She’d have to tell him her secret identity. Hopefully he would still visit her in jail. 

Marinette shook herself back to reality. Chat Noir wouldn’t have to visit her in jail because she wouldn’t be there in the first place. No one would be in jail, because nobody killed Chloé. It was just dumb luck (ha!) that all the worst possible outcomes had happened. They we’re going to be fine.

“Everyone, quiet!” she yelled. “Look, no one is going to jail.”

Kim rolled his eyes and leant back onto the teacher’s desk. “Oh wow, Marinette said we’re not going to jail so it must be true.”

Marinette stood shocked for a solid five seconds. _Where did that come from?_ “Look Kim, I don't know what your problem is—“

“My problem,” he interrupted, “is that none of this mess would have happened in the first places if you had kept your mouth shut.”

_“What!?”_

He stood up tall and pointed in her face. “It was your yelling that startled Nathanaël into falling, which made Ivan knock into Alix who threw her scissors into the air.”

Alix’s yell of, “I didn't _throw_ my scissors!” went ignored as Marinette and Kim began to fight.

“The only reason she had scissors was because _you_ spat gum into Mylène’s hair!” Marinette shot back, pointing at his chest as she did so.

Kim gasped. “Well, nobody would have even known she had gum in her hair if you didn’t point it out. 

“That’s a stretch and you know it.”

“Well,” Max spoke, nervously adjusting his suspenders. “If we’re reasoning about it this way, all blame should lie on Alix for engaging the fight that produced this whole pandemonium.”

“My fault?” Alix gasped. “If anything, it should be Nathanaël’s. He was the one that fell over in the first place.”

“M–Me?” He stammered. His face went red from all the attention. 

“Don’t blame poor Nath,” argued Nino.

“Then who’s to blame?”

“Marinette!”

“No! It’s Alix!”

“Why is no one blaming Mylène? It was the gum in her hair that started this.”

“Well maybe it’s Adrien’s fault!?”

“No offence, but why is it mine?” 

“I don't know!”

“Seriously!” Alya yelled. “Why are we even fighting?” All voices came to a halt as she spoke. “We need to work together more than anything now, and this is how we handle it? By blaming each other?”

Marinette sighed. “Alya is right, we can’t keep arguing like this. This is serious and we need to figure out how we’re going to deal with it.”

Juleka rose her hand. “We could make it look like a suicide?”

“No way,” said Nino. “No one is going to believe it. Why would Chloé feel the need to kill herself?”

Sabrina look up and shyly pushed her hair behind her ear. “Well, Chloé has always been kind of sad. Her dad is never around and she doesn't get along with her mum.”

Adrien hummed. “It’s true.”

“I don’t know,” Mylène said. “I’d feel terrible faking someone’s suicide.”

“There’s that,” Marinette pointed out. “And the fact that no one can write in Chloé’s handwriting. 

“Sabrina can,” Alix said. “She does Chloé’s homework all the time.”

Marinette rubbed her temples and sat down at her desk. She didn't know what to do. Never in her life did she imagine herself in this scenario.

The redhead looked at the floor. “I–I really don't want to." 

Alya sat down next to Marinette. “Okay, let’s not make this into another _Heathers_ movie. Any other suggestions?”

“Well,” Said Nino. “If we can’t do _Heathers_ , how about _Weekend at Bernie’s?_ ”

“Nino!”

“I’m just kidding!” He defended. “Mme. Bustier isn't that dumb. Speaking of which, does anybody know where she is?”

Nobody knew. She had been absent since everyone arrived. It was weird, thought Marinette. She was rarely ever late to class, and if she was, she was never this late. Very weird indeed.

As if the universe could read her thoughts, an obnoxiously loud voice was heard in the sky.

“I am The Vacationer, and all the teachers will disappear so it can be the summer holidays all year round, no matter the season!”

Well, that explained the warm weather and Mme. Bustier. Didn’t explain the birds though.

“I have to go to the restroom,” Adrien announced. Just as he was about to leave, Alya pulled him down into his seat.

“Nuh-uh, Sunshine Boy,” she said. “Nobody can leave. As of now, we’re on lockdown.”

“Lockdown?” questioned Nino. “Isn’t that a bit unnecessary?”

“Absolutely not.”

Everything was going greeeaaat. She wasn't allowed to leave the classroom, so Chat Noir might be fighting alone for a while, Adrien looked upset, and even one of the dead birds turned out to be _not dead_ and started flying around the classroom.

Everything was going to shit. Again.

The bird was smacking into everything and everyone as it tried to escape. It landed on Chloé for a few moments before scratching her cheek as it shoot back up into the air and left through the broken window. As people went to crowd around Chloé’s body, Marinette took the opportunity to get the fuck outta there.

She ran through the hallways before finding an empty room to hide in.

“Tikki! Tikki, oh my God. What am I going to do?” Marinette pulled at her hair and paced in circles across the room. Now that her head wasn’t filled up with images of a dead body (A DEAD BODY!!!), she finally had time to freak out. Her whole class was going insane. There was no way they could pull something off like this and everyone was going to find out what they did. Fuck her life. Fuck her entire life. She was totally going to spend the rest of her years in jail all because some stupid pair of scissors had managed to find a home in a certain somebody’s eye!

“Marinette,” Tikki spoke. “You have to stop freaking out. You and Chat Noir still have to capture that akuma before things get worse. I know it seems annoying, but it has to be done. Afterwards, on the other hand, I’ll help you hide the body!”

Marinette blinked. “You’re going to help me hide Chloé?” She squeaked.

Tikki flew into the air with a smile. “Indeed,” she said. “I think it’ll be a great class bonding moment.”

Marinette couldn't believe what she was hearing. She didn't know what to say. Tikki, sweet little Tikki, was supportive of her committing one of the world’s worst crimes. She was dreaming.

“C’mon Marinette, we can think about this later. We have a city to save!”

Sometimes she wished she could get just _one_ break.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave any comments/constructive criticism down below. I'm always looking to improve :)
> 
> Follow me on tumblr (pssebe.tumblr.com) for updates x


End file.
